crimsonbetrayal

Today I managed to end up in the ER at 7 in the morning and was there until the afternoon. I had bad chest pains starting at 4 in the morning. I went and got x rays, a CAT scan, an electrocardiogram and some bloodwork done.

CAT scans are awful. They hook you up to an IV, and they put this tracking fluid in it. When it goes into your veins, it makes your salvia taste like copper and feel sickingly warm everywhere. It especially feels like you just wet your pants when the blood reaches the pelvis. Haha. I had to get one to check and see if I had a clot in my heart or lungs.

And the consensus was that I was fine and it was probably a large manifestation of stress. Which is weird, because I'm the kind of person that stays calm and doesn't stress over things. Although the pain is still incredibly bad so hopefully it sleeps off :/.

It's 2009.... 2008 was a great year and I was sad to see it go. Of course, 2007 was a god awful year so '08 was a welcome change.

So tell me, what was the best part of 2008 for you?

I don't know if I could choose, but a lot of good things happened and I'm proud of myself. I fell in love with the kind of guy that stuck with me even after watching me puke four consecutive times in his townhouse (food poisoning O.O). My hard work paid off and I graduated top of my class. I turned 18 and voted for Obama! I lived away from home for the first time... it was glorious. It's been hard to move back for breaks.

My goals for 2009 aren't anything special. I hope to revive my relationship with my boyfriend as we celebrate two years together this year. I'm on a good path with my health and I hope that it stays that way. I also hope to finally open up to my parents about my decision to reject the Christian faith.

I have the one thing that so many people go through life wishing to have... compassionate, unconditional mutual love and adoration for another person. He is my best friend, my confidant and my lover. Every morning he tells me he loves me just a little bit more than the last. It's really true that when you finally find that person,  everything in the world takes a back seat. The things that I thought would be hard to give up I gave up easily.

I never even imagined when I met him 2 some odd years ago that we'd ever get to where we are now. But we did. And I love Ryan Keith Hornberg more than I could probably ever relate in some silly blog

/Gush.

I'm reading through my old devi's. I'm such a silly emo poet .

I'm still having some major issues accepting the fact that two people I knew from high school are now dead. It happened about 24 hours ago. Both drown in a non-swimming area at a local lake. I didn't know Adrian, the boy, too well - other than that he was a year below me and totally looked like Jesus, was lead guitarist in a popular band and really goofy. The girl, Marissa, jumped into try to save him but also got stuck in the mud at the bottom because the boy outweighed her.

I live in a small, tight knit community so something like this is very devastating. Neither deserved to die so young at 16 and 17 and had a lot of life to live - more life than most people have.