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About Literature / Artist Courtney MaeFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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ID by crimsonbetrayal ID :iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 3
Literature
Things to Do
Things To Do
I'm sorry, forgive me
I'm kind of busy
I've got things to do
like filling my nails
I haven't quite worked out all the details
but there's a wind to catch
and someone's gotta lift the sails
You expect to just walk into my life
like you walked into this room?
And with a sonic boom, put me in the mood?
I've got news - it's too soon
Or at least that's what I'll tell you
cause I'm afraid if I start I won't stop
if I start I won't stop
I won't stop
and I've got
things to do
I'm a workaholic at my core
job, friends, commitments galore
one thing I don't need is one more
You expect to just walk into my life
like you walked into this room?
And with a sonic boom, put me in the mood?
I've got news - it's too soon
Or at least that's what I'll tell you
cause I'm afraid if I start I won't stop
if I start I won't stop
I won't stop
and I've got
things to do
To keep my mind off loving you
and I've got things to do
it's not you, it's just too soon
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 1 0
Literature
Chronic
This looks familiar
like a single drop in a down pour
there's something about the sound
my feet make dragging on the floor
You looked familiar
like something I've seen once before
but I didn't see it
until I'd already stepped through your door
I thought I left you behind
over a million little isles
I thought I got you out of my mind
over a million little miles
Changed my lifestyle
Dying on the bathroom tile
Oh, my little mental exile
You try to be my idol
with your twisted little smile
Taking me down, you know now
the desire in me riles
Sweet little insecurities
designed to feed on your purity
that try to eat through the best of me
and I seem to give in repeatedly
I used to put up a fair fight
but this time I don't care tonight
but do I ever dare to make it right
do I dare to save my own life
I thought I left you behind
over a million little isles
I thought I got you out of my mind
over a million little miles
Changed my lifestyle
Dying on the bathroom tile
Oh, my little mental exile
Yo
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Girlfriends by crimsonbetrayal Girlfriends :iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 1 1 Love and Friendship by crimsonbetrayal Love and Friendship :iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Literature
A cheesy love poetry song.
Through the hard times
we stood together.
We were so good together
and that
should've been forever.
But in rolled gray skies
high tide
and stormy weather.
I need you
but I'm not afraid to leave you
to do what's best for me
- even when you have the rest of me.
Honestly, don't know what else you want me to do.
It's tough - hope you have enough love
to understand where I'm coming from.
You still were, are and will always be the only one
- no matter what.
You've never tried to bring me down
off of a tower ten feet off the ground.
I call it my ambition
let it make all my decisions
about room to grow
tell you to let me go
cause I am on a mission.
But I've changed my heart
changed my ways
cause I know I need to stay
together forever and always.
You still were, are and will always be the only one
- no matter what
All I know is
You're where my home is.
I'm not alone when
I pick up the phone and
you let my mind roam.
oh how I've grown
to heights so high
but I'd opt to never touch a sky
if it mea
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Literature
Cupholders
Through the hard times
we stood together.
We were so good together
and that
should've been forever.
But in rolled gray skies
high tide
and stormy weather.
I need you
but I'm not afraid to leave you
to do what's best for me
- even when you have the rest of me.
Hope it's best for you too.
Honestly, don't know what else you want me to do.
It's tough
- hope you have enough love
to understand where I'm coming from.
You still were, are and will be the only one
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Seeesters. Meg and I by crimsonbetrayal Seeesters. Meg and I :iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Literature
Sink The Sky
Just one more minute
another second is all I ask
cause we always forget that there's a limit
of time that we have
Are you watching over me
and do you approve?
Of the life that I've tried to live after you
Oh I'll try, I'll always try
And if God would let me climb
I'd climb
Every mile
and with the tears I've cried
I'd sink the sky
back down here to earth
cause I just want to hold you one more time
Are you drowning in the clouds
do you miss the things you left behind
nearly as much as I miss you
in this half made bed tonight?
Oh I'll try, I'll always try
And if God would let me climb
I'd climb
Every mile
and with the tears I've cried
I'd sink the sky
back down here to earth
cause I just want to hold you one more time
Heaven can't have you just yet
Angels belong in heaven
but they can't have you just yet
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Literature
two years ago tonight...
I took my share
you took your half
and we walked away
we never looked back
cause even though this was wonderful
it was too dysfunctional
to ever last
Remember how I set your heart alight?
Somehow that fell to what we are tonight
Sorry won't make this better
Sorry won't suffice
If you'd only let me fix this
If only you'd let me try
Cause it's strange to live with no you in my life
and maybe you're just fine
I try to remember all the good times
staying up all night
cause sleep's just for a little child
you told me sleep's just a lie
and your beautiful brown eyes
the way, every now and then, they'd shine
when I'd make you laugh
this was so wonderful
and yet so dysfunctional
but I'd gladly have it back
Remember how I set your heart alight?
Somehow that fell to what we are tonight
Sorry won't make this better
Sorry won't suffice
If you'd only let me fix this
If only you'd let me try
Cause it's strange to live with no you in my life
and maybe you're just fine
Well, you were my world
my heave
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Real Madrid Stadium, For Real by crimsonbetrayal Real Madrid Stadium, For Real :iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 3 2
Literature
Ruined
So this is what pain is like
Not a cut on my skin
But all the scars marked within
So this is what alone feels like
Calling out but hearing no one
Touching life but feeling numb
So this is what it's like for the stage light to burn out
and to begin watching as the curtain fell
and seperated me, from everthing that I once held
and I'm breaking in two
but I've never cried a tear
without knowing that you
would never let it ever go to waste
you'll use it to make me new
I'm ruined forever
I'm running back into your grace
because of your love
I'm forever changed
I'm never turning back
into who I used to be
I'm ruined forever
you have forever changed me
so this is what heartbreak is like
feeling it all cave in inside
but still having to feel alive
so this is what it's like
and I'm breaking in two
but I've never cried a tear
without knowing that you
would never let it ever go to waste
you'll use it to make me new
I'm ruined forever
I'm running back into your grace
because of your love
I'm forev
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 2 2
Literature
Why, God Why
Searching for reason
For hope to believe in
Telling ourselves
It's all apart of the plan
Not understanding
Each moment praying
Telling ourselves
It's all apart of his plan
And we grieve
And we mourn
Asking ourselves
Why, God Why?
And we grieve
And we mourn
Asking ourselves
Why, God Why?
Wondering why her
Stolen from this earth
Still telling ourselves
It's all apart of the plan
Trusting our creator
But why'd He have to take her
Still telling ourselves
It's all apart of His plan
And we grieve
And we mourn
Asking ourselves
Why, God Why?
And we grieve
And we mourn
Asking ourselves
Why, God Why?
I heard the door slam
That was the last time I saw him
Telling ourselves
It's all apart of the plan
The asphlat was bleeding by 2 am
Never got to say goodbye to him
Telling ourselves
It's all apart of the plan
And we grieve
And we mourn
Still asking ourselves
Why, God Why?
And we grieve
and we mourn
Still asking ourselves
Why, God Why?
Help me understand
How could you let this happen?
I don't compre
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Literature
Swings
Prey on fears, provoke tragedy
Blowing ashes across the city
Tears for a September morning
Anger, hatred, who would do this?
Serve a nation, this is for them
Saying I don't understand
But how could I, why now do you have to leave?
But look what you're missing
Tieing shoes and climbing trees
Rocking cradles and pushing swings
Do you want to miss these years?
Do you want them to grow up without you here?
I say I'm proud of you
You say you'll be home soon
To empty pillows and stale, cool sheets
in this lonely room
A broken record repeating to me
I'm okay, I'm all right,
Don't worry, baby sleep tight
Don't you worry, Don't you worry
I'm okay, I'm all right
Everything is just fine
Sand and hellish days
Green dressings
You're okay, You're Okay
Sun and bullet rain
Killing machines
but You're Okay, You're Okay
You're Okay, You're Okay
Doorbell, envelopes
Open door for sudden widow
Flag covered casket
No chance for
everything we hadn't yet
Why
I'm All Right (lies)
Baby, I'm Just Fine (lies)
Why
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 2 0
Literature
Rebegin
I have comprimsed, and left my innocence behind
and for the love of what I wonder now
Never to see the world again from the eye's of a child
The naive perspective where everything was right
I gave up all of my dreams, I gave it all up to see
what life could really be like
and I'm sorry
I am sorry
All along I thought I was at my end
But in you I think that this is where I could start over again
Can you let me rebegin?
I can't look into their faces, and let them see what I have
and let them realize what I have done
Too many things lay in my eyes from all I have seen
Everything that I gave up, all that I once held sacred to me
and I'm ashamed, because I played that game
that won me these scars on my purity
Forgive me
Please forgive me
All along I thought I was at my end
But in you I think that this is where I could start over again
Can you let me rebegin?
Even though I was weak
I couldn't find the strength
to fall to my knees
Even though I could see
I was still so blind to find
the love y
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0
Literature
Time
Inside the very fabric of me, grieves
holding onto what the remaining has left
over time the pieces of strength in me, empties
flowing in from the shards of my past
Was I supposed to heal?
Was I supposed to forget?
because time cannot erase
and time cannot let die
what is scarred on the past
but tell me how to say goodbye
I found that each breath in me, prays
that if only for tonight I could be with you
that's when every strand of hope in me, fades
when I look you're not there to hold on to
Was I supposed to heal?
Was I supposed to forget?
because time cannot erase
and time cannot let die
what is scarred on the past
but tell me how to say goodbye
never again can I touch your face
all I can feel is the granite above your grave
but unlike life, friendship does not die
and my love still rests by your side
and I can try to heal
but I can never forget
because what time cannot erase
and what time will not let die
is what's scarred on the past
but it's time for me to say goodbye
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal
:iconcrimsonbetrayal:crimsonbetrayal 0 0

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Activity


deviantID

crimsonbetrayal
Courtney Mae
Artist | Literature
United States
Interests
Today I managed to end up in the ER at 7 in the morning and was there until the afternoon. I had bad chest pains starting at 4 in the morning. I went and got x rays, a CAT scan, an electrocardiogram and some bloodwork done.

CAT scans are awful. They hook you up to an IV, and they put this tracking fluid in it. When it goes into your veins, it makes your salvia taste like copper and feel sickingly warm everywhere. It especially feels like you just wet your pants when the blood reaches the pelvis. Haha. I had to get one to check and see if I had a clot in my heart or lungs.

And the consensus was that I was fine and it was probably a large manifestation of stress. Which is weird, because I'm the kind of person that stays calm and doesn't stress over things. Although the pain is still incredibly bad so hopefully it sleeps off :/.

Comments


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:iconjonight:
jonight Featured By Owner May 19, 2008   General Artist
tagged.. [link]
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:iconcrimsonbetrayal:
crimsonbetrayal Featured By Owner May 17, 2006   Writer
:evillaugh:
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:iconfenriscorvina:
FenrisCorvina Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2006
Thankyou very much for the favourite ! :)
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:iconlarissaallen:
LarissaAllen Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2006
Thanks for the fav. :)
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:iconkonradh8:
konradh8 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2006
thx for fav :)
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:icondawnfairie:
DawnFairie Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2006   Photographer
:heart: thank you so much for the fav
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:iconchozart:
Chozart Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2006
Hiya :wave:
Thnx for the comment on the photo of.. my eye! lol

Nice gallery btw! :D
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:iconinterstellarr:
interstellarr Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2005   Photographer
Hey.. thank you for adding one of my photo to your favourites.. I'm honored.. :giggle:
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:iconmr-bosch:
Mr-Bosch Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005
Hahaha..that is the best internet snowball I have ever seen. Better than my lazy ass way of *throws sbnowball* ....BUT IT STILL GETS THE JOB DONE.
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